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Are You Up for It?
Summary: Cristiano drunk texts Leo after the match against Dortmund.

отсюда

CR7: i hate germans. like srsly man, i hate them.

CR7: well except mesut and sami. but that's diff, u noe? cuz they're ours.

CR7: u noe wat's not ours? the cl. again. i'm so sick of it. so sick - hey, that's a song, isn't it?

LEO: ur drunk, aren't you?

CR7: no i am NOT.

CR7: i am drunk on despair.

CR7: hey, isn't that alliteration or something? look at me, i'm a poet even when i'm drunk.

LEO: ur drunk.

CR7: ok fine, sherlock holmes. i am.

CR7: wanna join me?

LEO: no thnx.

CR7: why not??????

LEO: u shudn't drink. it's bad 4 u.

CR7: u noe what's bad 4 me? losing the cl. again.

CR7: u noe wat i hate the most?

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LEO: what?

CR7: every year we say next year, but next year never comes.

CR7: i'm tired of waiting.

CR7: i'm so sick of it.

CR7: i'm so sick of losing; so tired of tears. so done with wishing - how does the song go?

LEO: i don't know. i don't listen 2 neyo.

CR7: leooooooo r u sad too?

LEO: .

CR7: u can tell me. i won't laugh, i promise.

CR7: ok, i won't laugh TOO hard.

CR7: cross my die and hope to fingers.

CR7: i mean - u noe wat i mean.

LEO: yes, i'm sad.

CR7: you DID lose 7-0. that's pretty sad.

CR7 actually, rly sad.

LEO: cristiano.

CR7: ok, ok, sry.

CR7 i can't help it.

CR7: that must suck.

LEO: yeah, it does.

CR7: r u sad?

LEO: i just told u.

CR7: don't be sad.

CR7: u look like a kicked puppy when ur sad.

LEO: u look like a cat who drank spoiled milk.

CR7: ewwww i don't want to look like a cat.

CR7: y can't i be a dog?

CR7: i'd totally be head alpha dog, yo.

CR7: u can b my bitch.

LEO: ur rly drunk, aren't u?

CR7: i just told u.

LEO: u also told me b4 that u don't drink.

CR7: special times calls for special measures.

CR7: or whatever that saying was.

CR7: who cares?

CR7: i don't care about anything anymore. screw it all.

CR7: just screw everything. especially borussia dortmund.

LEO: go to sleep.

CR7: i can't.

LEO: well i want to. i'm tired.

CR7: u can sleep?

LEO: i want to.

CR7: rly?

LEO: ...

CR7: come on, listen 2 ur alpha dog. tell the truth.

LEO: i am not ur...bitch.

LEO: don't call me that, or else.

CR7: or else wat, leoooooooo?

LEO: good night.

CR7: no don't leave me, let's talk.

CR7: i don't like being alone.

CR7: leoooo? leoooOoo???

LEO: i'm tired too.

CR7: rite.

CR7: 7-0 is bound to be pretty tiring.

LEO: yea, so is winning la liga.

CR7: ouch.

CR7: that was harsh.

CR7: i deserved it, didn't i?

CR7: i didn't drink anything.

LEO: what?

CR7: i didn't drink any alcohol.

LEO: then-

LEO: oh.

CR7: yeah. oh.

LEO: cris.

CR7: yea?

LEO: don't drink so much despair.

CR7: LOL.

CR7: u sound like i have a choice.

CR7: it's not a choice.

CR7: u noe that. u of all ppl.

LEO: i know.

LEO: go to sleep, alpha dog.

CR7: so u admit it.

LEO: if i admit it, will u leave me alone?

CR7: if u rly want me to.

LEO: ur tired too, aren't u?

CR7: i am, but i can't sleep.

LEO: u want 2 talk 4 the rest of the nite?

CR7: i'm up 4 it if ur up 4 it.

LEO: i can't txt 4 that long. my fingers get tired.

CR7: skype??

LEO: u just want to have skype sex, don't u?

CR7: wat's wrong w/ that?

CR7: i'm up 4 it already.

CR7: if u get wat i mean ))

LEO: cris...

CR7: u noe u want to join me, baby.

CR7: so done w/ wishin u were still here.

CR7: u here yet?

CR7: that's in the song, btw.

LEO: yeah. i know.

LEO: hold on. lemme turn on my comp.

CR7: leo, u rock.

CR7: obvs not half as much as me, but still.

CR7: how bout this. u can b my beta.

LEO: how about u be quiet til skype.

CR7: ur gonna have to gag me then

LEO: i wish i cud.

LEO: don't take that a dirty way.

CR7: wat if i wanna???

LEO: wat r u like when ur actually drunk?

CR7: r u sure u wanna find out?

LEO: no. i'm good.

LEO: well, actually.

CR7: i'm apparently a very clingy, whiney drunk.

LEO: how is that diff from normal?

CR7: hey, leoooo, that's a low blow.

LEO: my comp turned on. logging on now.

CR7: i like ur face when u say my name right b4 u

Leo puts his phone away, his face flushed crimson by this point. He takes a breath before he clicks Skype, imagining Cristiano with his bottom lip caught between his teeth, his eyes dark and hazy—

Leo’s up for it too, apparently.